Have you ever noticed how some bankers will politely shame you for your past financial decisions?  For instance, they may say: “You didn’t start saving for retirement until you were in your forties or fifties or later?  Too bad!  You should have started earlier to take advantage of compound interest.”

Here’s another one I have heard from Americans: “You co-signed a loan with your brother and are now stuck paying off his debt.  Too bad!  You should never have co-signed a loan unless you were prepared to take on the debt yourself.”

Stop the should’of, could’of and would’of decisions that you made in the past.  Shame on the bankers for making you feel this way.  They are right, of course, but there is absolutely nothing we can do about it now.  You are still stuck with your current financial problem and there is nothing you can do to change the past to make it different.  The problem arises when we say to ourselves, (maybe because we have not done a good job saving in the past), that there is no point in starting now since you are already so far behind.  This we all know to be untrue, however shame tends to make us give up on future opportunities, putting ourselves in even worse financial predicaments.

The feelings, time, money or personal resources that have already been spent and now cannot be recouped, are considered to be “sunk” costs.  These are the costs that we have already put in, whether it be money, time, or the blood, sweat and tears to a project we believed in.  Be careful not to overvalue the past decisions you made.  Believing that your past decisions affect your current emotional state and your future decisions, really has no room in your path out of a financial problem.  Instead of beating yourself up about past monetary decisions, figure out if there are any ways to improve your situation.

Christine’s Tip:

Owning up to mistakes, and even proudly admitting them, can help you to recognize that regretting a mistake does not need to make you feel ashamed.  Mistakes in your past are past, and moving forward while acknowledging them can feel very liberating.